Tag Archives: shitty patterns

Vogue Patterns 2014 Spring/Summer Collection

6 Jan

The new Vogue collection can actually be summed up in one word: Zzzzzzz….

Forreal, don’t fall asleep while browsing these.

V8972
Vogue 8972
Despite how boring this looks in the picture, it’s actually pretty great – lots of customization options for the skirt and sleeves, and it would look really cool with some fabric colorblocking. I definitely plan on picking up a copy for myself. Yay Vogue! U did it!

V1381
Vogue 1381
Hm, looks familiar…

V8990
Voge 8990
Even though it totally looks like a cross between a laptop case and a Bible holder, I gotta give Vogue props for making a handbag pattern that actually looks like something people would carry. Kind of, anyway.

V1383
Vogue 1383
Macaron with bonus danglies!

V8987
Vogue 8987
Could be useful if you needed a sew a uniform for your boyfriend who works at a country club, I guess.

V1379
Vogue 1379
That giant armhole looks like a portal that leads straight to hell.

V8973
Vogue 8973
I think this might be cute, but holyeeee shit how unflattering does it look on the model??

V8974
Vogue 8974
Seriously, are they putting forth any effort whatsoever?

V1389
Vogue 1389
Like, this actually looks cool as shit when you look at the line drawings, but would you ever guess that from just seeing the picture?

V8969
Vogue 8969
Apparently they’re not even trying to make the super stylized/unrealistic line drawings even look flattering anymore.

V8970
Vogue 8970
I rest my case.

V1385
Vogue 1385
Vagina neckline.

V8981
Vogue 8981
This is so stupid, it’s actually making me a little angry.

V8982
Vogue 8982
I also irrationally hate this; the asymmetrical hem just looks like they fucked something up during the sewing process. Whyyyy.

V1388
Vogue 1388
I don’t necessarily hate this jacket, it’s just confusing the shit out of me. Looks like a combination jacket and vest? Help?

V8984
Vogue 8984
I… what.

V8975
Vogue 8975
michael-scott-no
That gif about sums up how I feel.

So, what do you think? Anyone else fall asleep yet?

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new vogue sewing patterns: just checked, still ugly

30 Sep

ooh you guys, vogue just released their winter sewing patterns! in fact, it’s been almost exactly a year since i last shit all over them. happy anniversary to me! let’s celebrate with a snarky shit-talking post, shall we?

i’ll start off with the 3 that i like.

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vogue 1271, kay unger
gorgeous dress, although the fabric choice is pretty tragic. can you imagine this in a lush black with a jewel-toned belt? i die.

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vogue 1265, pamella roland
i hated this one the first time i saw it – i thought it was some kind of awkward dressy romper/suit hybrid. EW. actually, it’s just a dress – that is a slit in the front, although i have no idea why they put it there since it obviously doesn’t need it once you see the back:
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again: i die. twice.

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vogue 8766
ok, this one isn’t really that special, i think i just like the lacy lace. pretty sure i have a dozen patterns exactly like this, but with different cover art. still – me likey!

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vogue 1273, badgley mischka
i like this ok – it has some neat detailing – but, again, tragic fabric choice. what’s with all the shiny polyester satin, vogue?

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vogue 1267, tom & linda platt
i like the detail seaming, but for the most part, this dress is pretty meh.

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vogue 1272, bellville sassoon
i know we are still in the middle of an 80s revival, but this is just uncalled for.

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vogue 1269, chado ralph rucci
i want to like this, i really do, but the flounce overload is giving me hives.

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vogue 8768, vintage vogue
actually, this one isn’t so bad aside from the WTF STYLING. this mess doesn’t fit the model AT ALL, especially that unflattering hemline. she looks horribly awkward & uncomfortable. i don’t blame her.

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vogue 8769
well, that’s practical.

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vogue 8780
what is this i don’t even.

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vogue 1279, pamella roland
not a bad suit by any means, but why did they decide to make it up in 3D hologram fabric? excuse me wtf r u doin.

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vogue 8776
actually, this one just made me laugh for about 5 minutes straight. thanks for the mood-lifter, vogue!

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vogue 8783, marcy tilton
i love that this purse is ~designer~, if by designer you mean totes appropes for hauling around in the minivan on the way to the soccer fields. i’m side-eyeing that woman’s hair so hard right now, willing it to morph into this. and oh, look, she’s wearing 8780! in green fleece!

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vogue 1276
this is actually a sleeveless vest, thoughtfully covered in hairballs.

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vogue 1268, guy laroche
looks like a cheap pocahontas halloween costume.

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vogue 1277, koos van den akker
you can defend koos van den akker all you want, but every single one of his designs is ugly as shit, as far as i’m concerned.

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vogue 1227 v2.0

23 May

i managed to get some pictures of the birthday dress over the weekend! here’s to hoping this is my final post on vogue 1227 🙂

but first, a jesus cake:
jesus cake
jesus didn’t end up coming by for his cake/party! bummer! hahah!!

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vogue 1227: complete! (FINALLY)

16 May

it is with great pleasure that i present to you the completed vogue 1227.

ok, i’m pushing a little – it’s not complete complete: i still have to sew on a hook & eye. and it’s been ugly & grey and COLD this week, so the only pictures i have to share involve a dressform. but it’s ready enough, and i can’t wait to debut her on saturday 🙂

if you are just dropping in for the first time, you can link to this post to experience some of the drama this stupid dress involved. otherwise, keep reading!

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vogue 1227: the bodice from hell

5 May

picking up from where i left off, still working on vogue 1227, aka my birthday dress. actually, i almost gave up on this dress completely… and in all honesty, we’re still not out of the woods on that one. but i carry on, mostly because i’d feel really bad wasting this barkcloth. ughhh.

this pattern: hardest pattern i’ve ever sewn. not because it is complicated, but there are SO.MANY.ALTERATIONS. and i am not normally one with a difficult body to fit – a FBA, sometimes i reduce the shoulders, and i usually end up reducing the waist. i’m pretty sure i’ve redrafted this entire pattern at this point. ridiculous! after i was done with my redrafting, none of the pieces matched up at the top. this is not an error on my part – i only adjusted the sides, not the top of the pattern pieces. of course, this was after i already cut out + interfaced 30+ pieces, so now i’ve just been piecing bands to add to the tops to make everything match.

oh, and the whole thing cuts so low, i can’t wear a bra with it. that may or may not have been the pattern’s intention, but i like wearing bras. so i had to add ruffles to the tops of the boobie cups.

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new look patterns are wtf

28 Mar

i’m in the process of making a dress for my sister. she wanted something simple – a white dress with a halter neckline that hit a little below the knee. we went to the fabric store & she picked out new look 6457, view D. the fabric is a linen-look polyester something from joann’s. pretty simple stuff.

new look 6457
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