Tag Archives: WTF

NO! Bad Vogue!

31 Oct

Soooooo Vogue just released their fall/winter sewing patterns. (Un?)Forunately, they aren’t too bad this time around. Not a lot of snark here; these are actually pretty boring & blah and ughh I almost didn’t bother posting because I was just so fucking underwhelmed. Seriously – even Koos van den Akker appears to have left the crazy at home this time. But, I dunno, it’s a slow day & the requests have started trickling in so I’ll just consider this my Treat to y’all. No tricks, please!

One thing that stuck out to me this go-round was the sheer amount of unnecessarily frivolous patterns.

V8858
Vogue 8858
Such as… oh, I don’t know, this flamingo flamenco skirt?

V8850
Vogue 8850
Or this vintage repro – while beautiful, I just don’t see a modern woman waltzing around the office with a giant slab of fabric hanging off her waist like a forgotten napkin. Or am I just being a bitter old hag here? Maybe it’s the cheap shiny satin, but this pattern is getting the serious side-eye from me right now.

V8853
Vogue 8853
A flowy ruffled blouse with a matching flowy ruffled caplet in the same eye-bleedingly busy print? SIGN ME UP.

V8846
Vogue 8846
Or perhaps you fancy a dress with a built-in cape? It is Halloween, after all.

V1335
Vogue 1335
Buzz Lightyear, to the rescue!

V8868
Vogue 8868
I know everyone is freaking out over the fascinators, and I’m not going to rain on your parade for fear y’all are gonna eat me alive.
All I am gonna say is, it looks like the black-eyed children have finally found a way to be invited into your home (spooky link alert, FYI!)

V1334
Vogue 1334
Nothing earth-shattering here, only the most unflattering outfit I think I’ve ever seen.

V1332
Vogue 1332
REAL TALK: This straight-up looks like a vagina.

V8855
Vogue 8855
Wonderful pocket place y’all got there!

V8867
Vogue 8867
They finally did away with the randumb giant leaves this time, and instead settled on using decapitated arms.

V8869
Vogue 8869
“BLIIIINDED BY THE LIGHT- WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE, ANOTHER BONER IN THE NIGHT~”

More Vogue WTF:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

New Vogue Sewing Patterns Are Here!

26 Jul

Oh my god, you guys – Vogue just released their newest line of sewing patterns! It’s like Christmas in July today!!!

Unfortunately, the new line-up isn’t really fit for snark. The designs are inoffensive, rather plain honestly. *YAWN*

So instead, we’re going to make fun of the pictures! Because they are hilarious . Also there is a mysterious window.

V1316
Vogue 1316
That kind of side eye comes from someone who has been hurt before.

V1313
Vogue 1313
I’m curious as to why they decided the perfect moment to take the picture was also the exact moment the model fell directly on her ass.

V1317
Vogue 1317
Lurks McGee

V1321
Vogue 1321
Incognito McGee

V1320
Vogue 1320
Invisible Chair.

V1312
Vogue 1312
Oh, God… I can’t even… is she popping a squat? WHO DECIDED ON THE POSES FOR THESE PICTURES?

V1324
Vogue 1324
“Don’t go… it’s… it’s not safe out there.”

V1325
Vogue 1325
“Ok, hon, it looks like you’re a little too tall for the frame. Do you mind crouching down a little? I need to get those killer Payless shoes in the picture as well. There. That’s good, that’ll work. You’re a natural, doll.”

In all seriousness, that 1325 suit is pretty fucking cute:
V1325 (1)

V1318
Vogue 1318
I would love to make some type of snarky comment implying that the fan is necessary when you are wearing a stank-inducing vest made of plastic alligator skin but I think the picture speaks for itself.

V8832
Vogue 8832
For the gay pirate in all of us.

V8844
Vogue 8844
Or, if you’re a shriner, we’ve got you covered on that end too

V1322
Vogue 1322
I need someone to explain this garment to me because I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking at. Is it… a suit jacket with no arms that has magically expanded into a cape?

V8843
Vogue 8843
I just love the randumb giant leaf they chose to include in all that handbag pictures.

V8829
Vogue 8829
A prime example of a tragic fabric choice. This pattern is actually super cute; it’s just impossible to see past the shiny on the envelope picture.

V1315
Vogue 1315
This one was my favorite, which is why I saved it for last. She looks like she’s creeping around a doorway and I spent about 10 minutes laughing at when I first saw it.

It is basically Christmas today, so I suppose I owe y’all a gift of some sorts:
picasion
I hope you like it.

WTF: our new etsy shop!

1 Jun

my roommate/bestie & i have decided to combine creative forces & open our own etsy shop! we are planning on manning a booth at this year’s tomato art festival (oh yes, we nashvillians love our tomatoes), but we thought it wise to start early & dip our toes in, so to speak. we have named ourselves the wicked tomato factory (WTF for short!).

i made pincushions! y’all know how i feel about a good pincushion 🙂
pincushion1
Continue reading