Happy Monday, everyone! I just want y’all to know that I passed my kidney stone over the weekend (and yes, it’s a big deal, and yes, I know y’all were just sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for an update), so let’s celebrate! Vogue has graciously decided to gift us with a new season of patterns! Hope you made a strong cup of coffee for this one.
Vogue 8943
This is inoffensive, it just looks exactly like a lace dress they released a couple of years ago.
Vogue 8947
Galaxy dress, much?
Vogue 8952
Briar, much?
Vogue 8950
Ensis Tee, much?
Vogue 1368
Again, it’s not bad, but the styling is something else. A matching skirt and top set made in bright purple with tinsel running through it? Oook, Vogue.
Vogue 8951
What’s with the buttflap, tho?
Vogue 8944
Ok, THAT is cute.
Vogue 8949
Oooh, this too!
Vogue 8946
Someone pls explain to me why you would take a pattern with a million tucks and pleats and other interesting details, and make it up in the busiest fabric you can find.
Vogue 1372
For the Michelin man in all of us.
Vogue 1373
Don’t worry about the other arm, she can totally handle the cold.
Vogue 8960
Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize the ugliest part of the 90s was back.
Vogue 8957
OH GOD, THE 80S TOO.
Vogue 1377
This is probably the only time you will ever hear me say this, but this is least-worst Koos Van Den Akker pattern I’ve ever seen.
Vogue 8961
Woof.
Vogue 1378
Just being nitpicky – I don’t think that’s a flattering length.
Vogue 8953
Still being nitpicky, but this is not a winter top?
Vogue 8955
I don’t hate this, I just hate that it is PANTS. Whyyyyyy.
Vogue 8945
Nope.
Vogue 8954
lol, this is seriously one of the worst ones in this collection. Like, wtf is even going on here? That shit looks like a SPIDERWEB.
Vogue 1375
Hm, ok.
Vogue 1376
Vogue: Still trying to make the danglies happen.
Vogue 8964
I guess it wouldn’t be a proper Vogue photoshoot without a random shirtless man.
Vogue 8966
That’s it, I quit.