New Vogue Sewing Patterns were just released the other day! What better way to celebrate their arrival (and give myself a little more time to procrastinate getting my shit together, mostly because I CAN’T FIND MY CAMERA REMOTE, ARGH), than to rip apart the latest offerings? 😀
Vogue 1451 // Donna Karan
“Hey, Ambular. Was that you going through my laundry?”
Vogue 1450 // Guy Laroche
“As if! Like I would really wear something from Judy’s.”
Vogue 1444 // DKNY
I know there is a whole class of sewists dedicated to making sure that their insides look as pretty as the outside (both hands raised bc I’m totally part of that camp!), but this shit is taking that to the next level.
Vogue 1446 // Rebecca Taylor
Did seriously no one bother to tell this poor girl about the toilet paper stuck to her shoe?
Vogue 1454 // DKNY
Vogue 1454: Includes butt canopy.
Vogue 1447 Tracy Reese
REALLY cute dress pattern, awkward fabric choice.
Vogue 9100
First thing that comes to mind every time I see that damn ripped paper background.
Vogue 9108 // Marcy Tilton
As usual, Marcy Tilton does not disappoint.
Vogue 9117
I’m having a really hard time trying to figure out the storyline behind this photo. Was she working on home renovations before going to lunch?
Vogue 1452
Ladies, if this ensemble isn’t fabulous enough for you, just know that you can also make it out of stretch velour.
Vogue 1453
Sandra Betzina, what the fuck have you done now?
Vogue 9115
Kimono-no-no.
Vogue 9114
The perfect pocket for stashing your extra tots.
Vogue 9111
“I have given up.”
Vogue 9120
Introducing the Bellow Bag: For all your accordion-hiding needs.
And finally, check out this trifecta of fuckery: Vogue 9121
A) Tragic fabric choice? Check.
B) Unnecessarily long dangly? Check.
C) Saggy boob illusion? Check.
Vogue. Please don’t ever stop.
(psst! If you haven’t done so already, don’t forget to enter the Sewing for Fashion designers giveaway! Entries close on Monday morning 😉 )
LLADYBIRD 
Hahahahahha! OMG! I’ve missed your reviews on these releases. You rock. 🙂 Points for the Clueless quotes and “saggy boob illusion.” I need to figure out how to work that phrase into future conversation. 😉
I’m so glad someone got the Clueless quote! I was afraid it might be too subtle hahaha
I might know most of the lines from that movie…. Okay…. I DO know most of the lines from that movie.
“Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?”
Haha I love these posts. Thanks for the heads up about the new Vogue patterns! I am LOVING on V1446. I NEED THAT DRESS. http://voguepatterns.mccall.com/v1446-products-49827.php?page_id=174
It’s SUPER pretty, isn’t it? I think those pleats would look terrible on me, but I want to see people make that pattern – I just love the back detail!
I fell in love with it too 😀 definitely on my summer-to-sew-list!
Lauren, we missed you!!!! We were sad the spring collection was not rip-worthy enough for you, but we guess we made up for it with the summer collection? (Hah, toilet paper stuck to the model’s shoe, that’s a good one.)
I have missed y’all too!! ♥
What is going on with Vogue these days! As I have said earlier, my vintage patterns from Vogue are much more interesting/wearable than these. I was extremely disappointed with Vogue’s summer offerings this time. It appears that the designers have decided to drape fabric in unusual rectangles for most of these.
Well, you can’t hold a candle to the vintage patterns – those are always going to be so much more interesting than the new stuff. However, I for one am happy that there’s some fuckery in this collection – because, what else are we gonna make fun of otherwise? 😉 haha!
Love it! It made me laugh out loud!!
Yay! 😀
I kind of love toilet-paper-shoe girl’s dress, but hot damn does it look challenging and time-consuming.
Oh, I think it’s really cute! It would look terrible on me with all those pleats around the waist, but someone(s) needs to make it up for sure. I think the challenge and time-consuming aspect of it would actually be really fun 🙂
I do not have the patience for that shit. lol
[Yes, I just posted comments using two different accounts because I’m special]
You are special to meeeeeee ♥ haha!
You actually sew all those pleats first on a big rectangle of fabric, then you cut out the dress pattern. So that part is easier to sew than you’d think.
FYI to your readers, we just posted detail photos of the designer patterns here: http://bit.ly/1Hbup4x
Those photos are really helpful, thanks for the link.
Lauren, thanks for the giggles and reminder of Clueless (great movie!) 😃
Ah, that’s really interesting to know about the pleats! Definitely would make things much easier than it looks.
And obviously I LOVE seeing those detailed guts of the designer pieces, so thank you for posting those!
I look at these patterns (almost all of them) and think, “Yikes! Someone actually gets paid to come up with this *#&*! ?” I wonder if they sell any of these?
Oh, girl, you know the craziest ones are totally their best-sellers. I think that’s actually my favorite part of all of this haha
Ack! Do you think “they” actually wear them?!? I mean…..this is small-town Willamette Valley Oregon. If we had a town jail, I’d likely be incarcerated for wearing “toilet paper girl.” Hope you guys are mostly all moved in and that you’ve found your camera thing-y!
Haha I imagine so! If someone gives so little fucks that they will make the garment, I’d hope they also have enough (or lack thereof) fucks to wear it too 🙂
And yes! I found my camera thing, finally! Bout had fit this morning when I was ripping the house apart trying to find it! 🙂
“Kimono-no-no.” just made me snigger in the office. Friday afternoon, of course I’m working…!
Hey now, your secret is safe with me! 😀
You’ve made my day!!! LMFAO, now I feel well equipped for getting my ass off to work! Thanks 😉
Yay!
THANK YOU! I have missed these.
Haha! Good thing Vogue started throwing some WTF back into these collections – I missed snarking on ’em 🙂
When I looked at these for the first time, my first thought about 1451 was “who the f*ck would wear that top?” followed by “Wait, that’s the perfect shape for my baby bump!” You know, if I want my belly to look like it’s covered in cloth napkins. Or something.
No way, cloth napkins would be an improvement on that 😉 haha!
Seriously Lauren, your New Vogue Comments are becoming my favorite for “I need a good laugh today”. Mr. Hi C is a great addition to the tom foolery, he’d probably wear the butt canopy well, with a nice pair of jeggings perhaps.
Mr Hi C would rock the shit out of that butt canopy, I know this for a fact 😉
“I have given up” – made me LOL. Also a very handy phrase for a lot of clothing designs out there.
haha I agree!
Gimme your tots! LOL I didn’t even see that crazy pocket!
My favorite pattern this go around is the jumpsuit. I can totally see making that in a slinky printed matte knit.
I am intrigued by the jumpsuit but I want to see how other people make it up. I know it’s gonna be fabulous, just the pattern envelope photo not so much 😉
Oh boy I cant stop laughing!!! Love the accordion bag the most…. don’t you know that is the perfect bag for traveling with your sewing machine and no one can tell!!! LOLOLOLOLOL
On the plus side, its a collection that will cost me nothing and put my sewing flops in a brighter light.
haha perfect!!
Ah, the highlight of my day – Lauren’s regular review of new Vogue patterns! OMG, I laughed so hard. Honestly, it amazes me that some of these ever sell.
1446 (toilet paper girl) and 1447 (cute pattern, awkward fabric choice) though – my daughter, who has, no kidding, the body of a Victoria’s Secret model – could rock those dresses. Me… not so much anymore. 🙂 Now if I could only convince my daughter that she looks as good as she does instead of hating her body…. sigh….
Haha oh man, isn’t that how it works though? We never appreciate our rockin’ bodies until they stop being quite so rockin’ 🙂
TGIF Thanks for the laughs, just love your pattern reviews. I’m going to make V1446 and see if all the pleating flatters a small waist or fails.
Ooh let me see if you do make it up! Inquiring minds need to know.
I chuckled all the way through, but the saggy boob illustration really got me!! Brilliant! 😂
Now you will never be able to unsee it haha!
yup, great as always! I think the award goes to the weird upside down bottom of the leg pockets! OMG!!!
Right?! What the hell can you even put in those pockets?
Haha butt canopy!! Love it.
😀
Saw the Vogue collection the other day and couldn’t help thinking WAY back to when I’d go to the fabric store with my mom and the Vogue patterns would be AMAZING…! Like DVF wrap dresses and other iconic designers that you’d actually love to wear! Now, it’s kind of a cringe-fest! Some of them have possibilities, but none that inspire a ‘must buy’!
Always enjoy your critiques…where else are you going to find Clueless with Napoleon Dynamite references? Totally agree those are the WEIRDEST pockets EVER. I swear they are upside down. #byebyetots
I remember looking through the new books, too, but I confess – I only looked at the Halloween costumes. Those were fun to look at, though! And hey, at least now we can be entertained hahaha 🙂
1450- made in yellow would work great as a spongebob squarepants costume…
Yes, yes it would!
I am always shocked at Marcy Tilton’s designs, they are dumpy sadness chic. Thankfully Tracy Reese makes up for those. I am actually impressed that there are more patterns than usual this season that I really like and would like to make.
Are you going to make any of them?
I’m not sure – there are definitely a few that I like (V1448 & V1447 especially), but right now I’m feeling a bit overloaded with new patterns that I haven’t had a chance to make up yet, so it’ll probably be a while before I start adding back to the collection 🙂
When I got the e-mail from Vogue and saw what ridiculous designs they had, my first thought was that I couldn’t wait for your post about them!
Yay! It was a good batch this time ’round, huh? 🙂
HAHAHA! Thank you for this post 🙂
You’re so welcome 😀
Oh Lauren,
You are so spot on and so good at being naughty. Always love your thoughts on the new collections!
Hey Lauren, I think you might enjoy our new coloring book PDF that features high-res line illustrations of 10 of the new summer Vogue Patterns. It has several of the ones you fondly mention in this post. http://bit.ly/1FIu739 —Meg
I’m surprised the banana suit on the lookbook cover didn’t make the list. I remember you said that the designer patterns actually come from the designer collections themselves, however I haven’t been able to locate the runway/retail versions of the DKNY and Donna Karen pieces anywhere outside of the patterns. I’m really curious if the retail/runway photography for these pieces makes them more appealing.
Sometimes you have to go back a few seasons or a year to find them in the line-up but they usually look the same.
Ugh some truly ugly designs vogue have outdone themselves. The drug stash pockets on vogue 9114 made me laugh. Practical for knuckle grazers but not much else.
Hahahaha I was having a shitty day but this made me laugh. Thanks!
Vogue 9117 – I think she came home for lunch to check on home renovations ha ha
Hilarious! what is that metal pole behind the woman checking on her home renovations? They cropped the top of it off. is something hanging off of it that they don’t want us to see? LOL
hahahaha TOT POCKETS!! Those had a bit of an…orifice look to me but I do work in a hospital so maybe my perception is skewed. LOL And the jumpsuit thing? But bellows bag is pretty compelling…I mean I do like to carry ALL THE THINGS!! Seriously so glad to see this today.
That was hilarious! You just made my day 🙂
Kind of obsessed with the line drawing for 1447, SO cool – like the Deer & Doe Centauree taken up a notch or five. WHY did they choose that horrendous fabric that buries all the details?!
Love these posts! Great job! My sewing friends always snark on these right before they run to the store to go snag the pattern. ha I shop at Dress Barn quite a bit for office professional dresses and a BUNCH of them have those exterior darts – like it’s a trend thing. I haven’t sewn any into my own pattern hacks yet but I might. And while I adore the nostalgic pleats and gather’s around the waistline, my big ass doesn’t need any assistance to appear any bigger than it is so I’ll stick to A-lines thank you very much. The Hollyburn is a close cross between the two but even then I had to tailor in the final circumference of the hem. Awesome reviews! Well done!
Tears, while reading your post/review. As soon as I saw this collection I thought, “Sure hope Lauren didn’t give up Vogue-bashing for good, because this collection deserves her sharp analysis.” You did not disappoint.
Witty Lladybird! Thanks to you I had a good laugh this morning. The Bellow bag wins this round! I wonder if only one sewist will try to make this incredible bag.
Hahahaha! The Napoleon Dynamite reference made my night.
I missed the Clueless reference but totally sniggered at the tots reference. I thought the Kool-Aid background dress was cute–didn’t even notice the background until you pointed it out!
Lauren – in the previous post you mentioned that your sewing book collection is much pared down. What books do you still have in your collection? I MUST decrease my collection (sounds like a good project for today), and I’m curious which books others find to be the most helpful. Weeding out sewing books is almost physically painful, and yet my collection is getting to be rather embarrassing. LOL!
My biggest stash problem, book-wise, was reference and how-to books. I had DOZENS of them (they are cheeeeap when you find them used!) and certainly didn’t need that many. I kept the ones that I found the most useful in my sewing (Vogue Sewing, the Sewtionary, the Colette the Singer Sewing Handbook, and an old 1940s sewing book, the Colette Knit Book, my Tailoring book, etc). I also kept all of my pattern books that I plan to make patterns from/enjoy looking through for inspiration (probably about 10-12 titles, give or take). I kept my books on pattern drafting and draping (a couple college textbooks that were given to me, and The Draping Book from LK). I kept all my fit books and all the books from the Singer Reference Library (I love those books!). Oh, and I kept the little Fashion Dictionary from LK. Love that thing, it’s so handy haha. All in all, I pared down my collection enough to where it only takes up about one small shelf 🙂 I say just go through and keep the books that make you happy – whether it’s because you actually use them, or you just really love looking through them. If you don’t ever even open the book, there’s really no point in hanging onto it. At least, that’s the way I feel about it! 🙂
Hilarious review, as always! The “accordion bag” was surprising, but the designer, Kathryn Brenne, has written some fantastic sewing articles/tutorials for Vogue Patterns magazine and for the Emma One Sock website, so we can cut her some slack! Hope she publishes all her work in a sewing book someday!
LOLOLOLOLOL too good!
So, did you ever drink Burple back in the day (I think that’s what it was called.)? It was a powdered drink like Kool-Aid, and it came in this round plastic container that could expand vertically to hold the drink once you added water. It has these accordion folds…just like that bag!!! It’s a Burple bag!
Ha! I was trying to remember what those things were called but I couldn’t place the name. That’s EXACTLY what it looks like hahahaha!!