Tag Archives: vogue

Vogue Patterns 2013 Fall Collection

30 Jul

Yaaaaay, new Vogue Patterns are in!

This batch wasn’t too bad – the patterns themselves aren’t necessarily terrible (for the most part), but the fabric choices still give us something to giggle over. Which brings me to to my next question – do you think Vogue is onto me? Are they purposefully giving us lols at this point?

Whatever, don’t stop! We like the entertainment!

V1366
Vogue 1366
I don’t have anything to snark about this one, really. Questionable fabric choices aside, I would wear the shit out of those pants.

V1361
Vogue 1361
I like this IN THEORY, but I also keep noticing that the tucks are not evenly spaced and that back seam looks less bias and more crooked and it’s making my eye twitch.
Oh god, I just realized the collar is totally lopsided too. I take back every positive thought I had about this dress.

V1358
Vogue 1358
The style lines on this dress are not half bad (although the drapey poof sleeves need to go), but whyyyy would you sew this up in shiny purple? She looks like she’s melting.

V1362
Vogue 1362
I love the waist pleating on this dress, just not that bullshit going on at the neckline. Wtf is the deal with that, anyway? It looks like Vogue 1340, except deflated.

V8930
Vogue 8930
Vagina coat, take two.

V8934
Vogue 8934
Ok, I know this is a ~Marcy Tilton~ and crazy fabrics are the whole point, but I’m hoping we can all agree that whatever that shiny reflective shit they have going on is a tragedy, and needs to be stopped.

V8919
Vogue 8919
Dolman sleeves with a faux boob-minimizing overalls. Ooook.

V8919a
Oooh, bonus shiny fabric! Gah, where do they find this stuff?

V8918
Vogue 8918
Vogue: Featuring necklines that only a mother could love.

V8921
Vogue 8921
I’m guessing this is supposed to be a replica of Princecess Kate’s Engagement dress, but the fit and shape here are all wrong. They could not have made this look more unflattering if they tried.
On a side note, one of the fabric requirements is Silk Spun Knit!? Whatever that is, I want me some!

V8922
Vogue 8922
This is a really cute dress, but woof at those fabric combinations.

V8927
Vogue 8927
PROTIP: If you’re going to put your model in a shirt that’s too big, don’t make the sleeves sheer lace that we can see through.

V8924
Vogue 8924
The best part of this picture is the shit in the bottom right corner. What is going on over there? Is the building falling down around her? Should we send for help?

V8926
Vogue 8926
I think we need to have a shiny fabric intervention.

V8936
Vogue 8936
This is… ok. It looks striking in the pictures (or is that just the model?), but I don’t know any woman who would wear such an exaggerated and long peplum. The back must be pushing a good 10″ away from her ass.

V8936a
Vogue must have gotten a discount on shitty pleather this season.

V8935
Vogue 8935
Boring.

V8939
Vogue 8939
Sister Wives: The Business Edition.

V8941
Vogue 8941
No Vogue release would be complete without the addition of an Ugly Hat.

Oh, look, I saved the best for last…

V8942c
V8942d
Vogue 8942
I don’t know about you, but it’s high time we had frog and owl purses in our respective wardrobes.

V8942b
That frog is just like, “… nope.”

V8942a
Oh god, I just noticed that there is a nest with eggs in the background of the owl picture. I’M DYING.

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Me Made May ’13 – Week 1 Round-up

3 May

First off, thank you SO MUCH for the lovely comments on my lace trench yesterday! SHUCKS, Y’ALL. You sure know how to make a girl feel special ;)

Now, let’s round up the first week of Me-Made-May! I know, it’s not a full proper week… but I like to do my round-ups on Friday, soooo deal with it.

5/1
5/1
Dress: Cake Patterns Tiramisu
Cardigan: Miette
Shoes: Nine West
I spent most of this day sitting in a car (on my first ever ~business trip~ woohoo), so I opted for something comfortable that wouldn’t wrinkle. As a side note, those 4+ hours as a passenger meant I got a LOT of knitting done. Expect a sweater post sooner than later, ha.
Also, welcome to the ugly side of my sewing room.

5/2
5/2
Tshirt: Sewaholic Renfrew
Skirt: Vogue 8317
Belt: Banana Republic
Shoes: Thrifted (yes, I’m totally gross and I thrift shoes, DGAF)
I need to find more ways to wear this skirt, because every time I do I get SO many compliments on it (usually in the form of, “Oh, I love that skirt… OMG I LOVE THE BACK!!!!” haha). I think it would be really fun paired with navy, or even teal.

5-3
5/3
Top: Papercut Patterns La Sylphide
Jeans: Imogene+Willie
Shoes: Keds
(not shown: Sewaholic Patterns Minorou jacket)
These jeans are my one piece of “cheat” clothing. MMM is all about focusing on wearing, well, me-mades, but let’s be real here – these are my only pair of jeans (yep!) and May is most likely the very last month I’m going to be able to wear them before it gets too hot for the summer. Considering I paid a shit ton of money for them and I love the everloving shit outta them, I decided the jeans are my free pass as long as the rest of the outfit is LT-made. I mean… they are handmade, just by someone else. That counts, right? :)
Also, it’s cold today and I wanted to wear pants. So there.

So that’s that! A short week of Me Made May; next Friday should be a little more interesting :)

Now, let’s talk about the new Vogue patterns that just came out.

They are actually pretty boring, sad to say :( Like a good 3/4 of them look exactly like patterns that were released last season, or the season before… just different fabrics and/or models. I do want to point out that whoever they have modeling with the red hair is a TOTAL BABE.

V1354
Vogue 1354
Am I right? BABE CITY USA.
I don’t even notice the ridic poses because I’m too busy being jealous THAT I DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT.

Then there’s this:
V8900
Vogue 8900
It’s… interesting. Definitely not a style that many people can pull off (both waist cut-outs AND a top that can barely accommodate a bra), but I don’t think pattern companies necessarily need to make stuff that flatters *everyone*, you know? I’ll give them credit for being interesting, and ignore all those seams that are screaming to be pressed.

Then these happened:
V8913
Vogue 8913
I think we’ve reached a breaking point with these unnecessary buttflaps.

V8914
Vogue 8914
Everything about this is just unfortunate.

V8895
Vogue 8895
Someone please tell me in what world this dress would be considered flattering?! Her head looks so tiny in comparison!

V8897
Vogue 8897
Hideously unflattering tunic aside (which, I might add, is eerily similar to this previous hideously unflattering tunic) it appears that their iron must have exploded during the making of this since NOTHING is pressed. Just looking at that hem is making my eye twitch.

The rest of the patterns are so boring, they put me to sleep. Actually, that’s a great idea. I’m going to print them out and bind them in a little book for the next time I am dealing with insomnia. Thanks, Vogue!

Completed: My Easter Outfit

12 Apr

Remember that wool crepe I bought while I was in NYC? Remember how I was afraid it was going to be too winter-y for a climate that’s already rapidly approaching summer weather?

WELL, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT:

Easter Outfit

I made me a fancy lady flouncy pencil skirt! Totally banking on Carolyn’s reassurance that wool is a lovely fabric to wear during the summer, I decided to test that theory by making it into a skirt. I really wanted a whole ladysuit – or even a dress – but unfortunately, this kind of saturated yellow doesn’t do favors for my coloring. I went with a skirt so there would be plenty of space between my face and the yellow.

Easter Outfit

I felt pretty silly making a wool pencil skirt just as we’re creeping into 75* days – I mean, I’ve always thought of wool as a winter fabric (and I’d guess that a lot of people feel the same way). The best coats are wool – why would I wear wool in the summer heat? Isn’t that just asking for a sweaty disaster?

Easter Outfit

So here’s my little wool crepe pencil skirt for spring – in the kind of bright yellow that would almost be embarrassing if it wasn’t so awesome. But sit back down for a spell, there’s a lil’ surprise in the back…

Easter Outfit

… a circular flounce insert! I call it a party in the back, Landon calls it my tail. Either way, it’s a fun little addition to jazz up an otherwise plain pencil skirt (well, as plain as a *bright yellow* wool crepe pencil skirt can be, I suppose!).

Easter Outfit

This pattern is Vogue 8317, which I received during a sewing swap (also while I was in New York – thanks, Oona!). Just based on the envelope art, the pattern is a bit dated looking (I originally thought it was from the earlyl 90s, but the copyright date is 2006 wut), but the line art showed promise. I made a 10, although I probably should have done a smaller size as I needed to take in quite a bit at the waist. I also shortened the skirt by about 2″ before cutting into my crepe.

Easter Outfit

Easter Outfit

Easter Outfit

Easter Outfit

The skirt is fully lined with Bemberg Rayon. I originally wanted a bright yellow like the crepe, but there wasn’t any in the store when I was there (nor was there any white – at least not in rayon!), so I ended up getting a light peach that is very close to my skin tone. Surprisingly, it picks up quite a bit of the hue of the wool and almost looks like the exact yellow I was trying to obtain. Love it when that happens!

Easter Outfit

Easter Outfit

I also made my bow-neck blouse, using polka dot cotton batiste (from Mood, of course) and Simplicity 4676, a vintage pattern. The batiste is quite sheer, so I underlined the body with white batiste. I love this stuff – it’s incredibly soft and lightweight, and the black and white pin dots go with EVERYTHING. Seriously. I will probably end up wearing this top all summer, it’s so good!

Easter Outfit

Easter Outfit

Easter Outfit

I made this outfit to wear for Easter dinner with my family, but I can definitely see myself wearing it all throughout summer, as well as pairing up the individual pieces with different tops and bottoms. Oh, and to answer my own question at the beginning of the post- wool crepe gets two thumbs up from me when it comes to summer wear. Just make sure you pair it with a lightweight, breathable lining, and you can wear this amazing fabric year-round.

Easter Outfit

Do I sound like an advertisement, yet? :) WOOLCREPEWOOLCREPEWOOLCREPE

Oh, Vogue.

24 Jan

Nothing like some Vogue-hate to cheer me up when I’m having a shitty week, amirite. Thanks, Vogue!

V1341
Vogue 1341
I don’t get this. It looks someone tried draping for the first time and failed as hard as they could possibly fail.

V1342
Vogue 1342
True story: I check my Google search terms every day (because they are hilarious and awesome) and my very favorite one was when someone found my blog by searching “buttcrack sundress.” I always wondered what a buttcrack sundress was. Now I will wonder no more.

V1340
V1340 (1)
Vogue 1340
From the puffy darts to the shitty fit to the sad attempt at whatever is going on there with the neckline, this dress makes my heart hurt.

V1337
Vogue 1337
No comment on the dress, I just think the pose is really really funny.
COME AT ME, BRO.

V1338
Vogue 1338
Y U mad, tho?

V1347
Vogue 1347
Vogue, stop trying to make the danglies happen.

V8873
Vogue 8873
The pattern describes this as a “fitted bodice.” I don’t know about you, but nothing about that bodice looked fitted to me.

V8870
Vogue 8870
Well, that pattern placement is just tragic.

V1345
Vogue 1345
NOPE.

V8887
Vogue 8887
I actually don’t mind this get-up too much (except for that pants length… yikes). I just wanted to make fun of her shoes.

V8879
Vogue 8879
The fuck is going on here.

V8883
Vogue 8883
Vogue, what did we just talk about regarding those danglies.

V8891
Vogue 8891
The prettiest beekeeper you ever did see.

I’m noticing a new trend here, in that NOTHING FUCKING FITS ANY OF THESE MODELS. What the hell! I know that most fashion magazines pin back the clothing to make it tight on the models, but ffs Vogue you had these things sewn for you. Could you not size down?? Compare the actual pants to the line drawing here. Those are not supposed to be Hammer pants, contrary to what the photo would have you believe. I’m just… I have no words. No words at all.

Vogue, go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

NO! Bad Vogue!

31 Oct

Soooooo Vogue just released their fall/winter sewing patterns. (Un?)Forunately, they aren’t too bad this time around. Not a lot of snark here; these are actually pretty boring & blah and ughh I almost didn’t bother posting because I was just so fucking underwhelmed. Seriously – even Koos van den Akker appears to have left the crazy at home this time. But, I dunno, it’s a slow day & the requests have started trickling in so I’ll just consider this my Treat to y’all. No tricks, please!

One thing that stuck out to me this go-round was the sheer amount of unnecessarily frivolous patterns.

V8858
Vogue 8858
Such as… oh, I don’t know, this flamingo flamenco skirt?

V8850
Vogue 8850
Or this vintage repro – while beautiful, I just don’t see a modern woman waltzing around the office with a giant slab of fabric hanging off her waist like a forgotten napkin. Or am I just being a bitter old hag here? Maybe it’s the cheap shiny satin, but this pattern is getting the serious side-eye from me right now.

V8853
Vogue 8853
A flowy ruffled blouse with a matching flowy ruffled caplet in the same eye-bleedingly busy print? SIGN ME UP.

V8846
Vogue 8846
Or perhaps you fancy a dress with a built-in cape? It is Halloween, after all.

V1335
Vogue 1335
Buzz Lightyear, to the rescue!

V8868
Vogue 8868
I know everyone is freaking out over the fascinators, and I’m not going to rain on your parade for fear y’all are gonna eat me alive.
All I am gonna say is, it looks like the black-eyed children have finally found a way to be invited into your home (spooky link alert, FYI!)

V1334
Vogue 1334
Nothing earth-shattering here, only the most unflattering outfit I think I’ve ever seen.

V1332
Vogue 1332
REAL TALK: This straight-up looks like a vagina.

V8855
Vogue 8855
Wonderful pocket place y’all got there!

V8867
Vogue 8867
They finally did away with the randumb giant leaves this time, and instead settled on using decapitated arms.

V8869
Vogue 8869
“BLIIIINDED BY THE LIGHT- WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE, ANOTHER BONER IN THE NIGHT~”

More Vogue WTF:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

New Vogue Sewing Patterns Are Here!

26 Jul

Oh my god, you guys – Vogue just released their newest line of sewing patterns! It’s like Christmas in July today!!!

Unfortunately, the new line-up isn’t really fit for snark. The designs are inoffensive, rather plain honestly. *YAWN*

So instead, we’re going to make fun of the pictures! Because they are hilarious . Also there is a mysterious window.

V1316
Vogue 1316
That kind of side eye comes from someone who has been hurt before.

V1313
Vogue 1313
I’m curious as to why they decided the perfect moment to take the picture was also the exact moment the model fell directly on her ass.

V1317
Vogue 1317
Lurks McGee

V1321
Vogue 1321
Incognito McGee

V1320
Vogue 1320
Invisible Chair.

V1312
Vogue 1312
Oh, God… I can’t even… is she popping a squat? WHO DECIDED ON THE POSES FOR THESE PICTURES?

V1324
Vogue 1324
“Don’t go… it’s… it’s not safe out there.”

V1325
Vogue 1325
“Ok, hon, it looks like you’re a little too tall for the frame. Do you mind crouching down a little? I need to get those killer Payless shoes in the picture as well. There. That’s good, that’ll work. You’re a natural, doll.”

In all seriousness, that 1325 suit is pretty fucking cute:
V1325 (1)

V1318
Vogue 1318
I would love to make some type of snarky comment implying that the fan is necessary when you are wearing a stank-inducing vest made of plastic alligator skin but I think the picture speaks for itself.

V8832
Vogue 8832
For the gay pirate in all of us.

V8844
Vogue 8844
Or, if you’re a shriner, we’ve got you covered on that end too

V1322
Vogue 1322
I need someone to explain this garment to me because I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking at. Is it… a suit jacket with no arms that has magically expanded into a cape?

V8843
Vogue 8843
I just love the randumb giant leaf they chose to include in all that handbag pictures.

V8829
Vogue 8829
A prime example of a tragic fabric choice. This pattern is actually super cute; it’s just impossible to see past the shiny on the envelope picture.

V1315
Vogue 1315
This one was my favorite, which is why I saved it for last. She looks like she’s creeping around a doorway and I spent about 10 minutes laughing at when I first saw it.

It is basically Christmas today, so I suppose I owe y’all a gift of some sorts:
picasion
I hope you like it.

Me Made May – Week 5 Roundup

1 Jun

Well, Me-Made-May is finally over – 5 weeks/31 days of handmade with daily photographs. I’m not even going to pretend I wasn’t relived to NOT take a photo of myself this morning :)

Since I was on vacation pretty much the entire week, I tried to be creative with my photos (mostly because I didn’t want to drag the tripod, camera *and* laptop with me to Florida lol). It was a bit of a struggle on a couple of the days, mostly because I spent lots and lots of time in my bathing suit… but I managed!

5-26
5-26
Shirt: Sewaholic Renfrew – modified some more since it’s original inception; you can’t see it too well but I cut the ribbing off the bottom & replaced it with wide lace (just like my Taffy blouse)
Pants: Colette Clovers
Necklace: Vintage bracelet I turned into a necklace
Shoes: Rugged Warehouse
Shades: Pangea
After a long day of driving (nearly 8 hours in the car! Plus 2 hours at some rando gas station after a belt in Landon’s car snapped & we had to wait for my dad to fix it. Which was preferable to towing it to some shop & paying them assloads of money to fix it, by the way!), we made it to Santa Rosa Beach! This is the view/balcony via our condo.

Santa Rosa Beach, FL
Uh huh.

5-27
5-27
Top: Giant men’s Hawaiian shirt resized by me
Skirt: Vintage, dyed by me
Shoes: Rugged Warehouse
Couldn’t get anyone to take a picture of me, so I settled for one of those awful mirror shots in the fitting room at Goodwill haha.

5-28
5-28
Top: thrifted – from the aforementioned Goodwill, no less!
Shorts: Simplicity 5110
Shoes: Walmart
Hat: Not mine, just trying on the goods
This was taken in a cute little town called Seaside, just a few miles from Santa Rosa Beach. We rode our bikes there, and I spent the entire time dying over the bike paths-
Santa Rosa Beach, FL
Totally flat, totally separate from the main road (which is on the left). It was SO NICE! I wish we had commuter/non-greenway bike paths like this in Nashville.

Seaside was really cute – there were tons of bikes
Seaside, FL

And shopping
Santa Rosa Beach, FL

And food trucks
Seaside, FL

And pretty things to look at
Seaside, FL
Santa Rosa Beach, FL

And a bonus outfit shot from Monday, 5/28:
Santa Rosa Beach, FL
Birthday dinner with Landon (and the rest of the family). I wore Vogue 1174. I knowwww I should have worn my birthday dress (I even brought it!) but everyone else was pretty casual so I decided on the blue dress at the last minute. SORRY.

5-29
5-29
Dress (worn as a swimsuit coverup): Hawaiian Sundress
Hell yeah I spent the whole day at a waterpark. And then Fudpuckers (where my little brother lost his debit card & the kind man at the bank verified the last transaction was from “pudfuckers” lol), and then some chintzy tourist shop called Alvin’s.
From left to right – Maddie (Matt’s girlfriend), my mom, Caroline (my niece), Matt (little brother!), me, my dad, & Landon.

5-30
5-30
Top: Jalie 2921
Skirt: Vintage, dyed by me
Party Hat: YEP
Last time at the beach! I gave up on trying to wear cute outfits & just put on something comfortable for the drive home :)

5-31
5-31
Dress: Colette Parfait
Shoes: Target
Purse: Thrifted
Scarf (tied on purse): Flea Market
Last day of Me-Made-May! I celebrated by going to my favorite fabric store for their 50% off sale :)

So yeah! I consider this may a total success – albeit not nearly long enough, as I still have masses of handmade clothing yet to be worn. Oh well! Since wearing my stuff wasn’t really much of a challenge, I tried to mix up how I wore it, and I think I did pretty good! I can’t think of anything this challenge made me realize I had gaping, except maybe some summer jeans – which I bought fabric for yesterday, btw! I also used this challenge as a kick the butt to get me into my mending/fit-fixin’ pile, for certain things I never wanted to wear (I’m looking at you, Swiss Dot Violet!)

The only thing that I didn’t like was the daily photos… it got old pretty fast, and felt pretty narcissistic the entire time. I did find myself getting more comfortable in front of the camera, until I got to the point where I didn’t feel like I needed to take 40+ pictures to get that ~one perfect shot~.

Here are the rest of MMM’12 posts, if you missed them the first go-round!
Me Made May, Week 1
Me Made May, Week 2
Me Made May, Week 3
Me Made May, Week 4

And a big big BIG thanks to Zoe for pulling the whole thing together! Apparently, this was the biggest Me-Made-Month yet; I hope we made you proud :D

So today is June 1st, and here I am wearing all handmade anyway hahaha
6-1
Top: Leotard reconstructed by me into a tank top
Trousers: Vogue 2925
Cardigan: Thrifted
Belt: Thrifted
Shoes: Thrifted

Me Made May – Week 4 Roundup

25 May

I wish I could say that this was the last week of MMM’12, but May is a sneaky little month that manages to have 5 weeks crammed into it. So here’s to week 4 – we’re, uh, 4/5th of the way through!

5-19
5-19
Top: Thrifted, resized by me
Shorts: Simplicity 5110
Earrings: Thrifted
Shoes: Converse
Sweet Shadez: Pangea (Nashville)
Getting ready to ride Tour de Nash! Don’t worry, I (begrudgingly)wore a helmet – it’s in my back bike basket :)

5-20
5-20
Dress: Simplicity 8345
Belt: Thrifted
Necklace: Bracelet I converted into a necklace
In my sewing room – I was pretty sick of taking daily pictures at this point!

5-21
5-21
Dress: Vogue 1227
Cardigan: Thrifted
Belt: Thrifted
Shoes: Target
Necklace: Antique, restored by InVintage.
My birthday! :D Since I couldn’t wear a dress called “The Bombshell” to work (I mean, our dress code is sorta lax but it ain’t that lax!), I wore last year’s birthday dress. Also, that necklace is my very favorite piece of jewelry I own – and the most expensive one to boot (and by “most expensive” I mean it was still less than $50 because I normally buy my jewelry at the flea market lol).

5-22
5-22
Dress: Vogue 1174
Bolero: Thrifted
Shoes: Nine West
-CONFESSION- I made this dress over 2 years ago & I have only worn it once (twice if you count me putting it on for pictures)! I just really hate the way I look in strapless dresses. Inspired by MMM’12, I pulled it out of the closet, dug in my scrap bin for the rest of the blue satin, and made a halter neck strap. Now it is much more wearable :) Yay!

Vogue 1174 w/ halter strap
Here it is without the bolero :)

5-23
5-23
Dress: Simplicity 2412
Belt: Handmade
Necklace: Fire Finch (Nashville)
Shoes: Nine West

5-24
5-24
Dress: Simplicity 3061
Belt: Thrifted
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Earrings: Pangea (Nashville)
I pretty much always wear this dress with a nautical flair, so this time I tried to go in a different direction. I think I like it!

5-25
5-25 (today!)
Dress: Vogue 1117
Belt: Thrifted
Shoes: Steve Madden
I love this dress so so so much, but the poor thing really doesn’t get as much wear as it deserves – I made the mistake of lining it with polyester lining! Ew, so hot! Oh well, that’s me – suffering in the name of Looking Good.
ALSO: Bonus! I got this fabric from Gorgeous Fabrics, and it is mad cheap right now – someone go buy the rest of her yardage!

I’m pretty bored with taking pictures of myself every day – it seems so redundant and, I dunno, kind of narcissistic (which is how I feel about most fashion blogging in general, SORRY). I will be glad to put this project to end next week!

As a side note, I counted my remaining handmade garments and I definitely have more unworn pieces than there are days left in May. Right now I’m trying to decide if I should pull this project into another week or so, just to wear ALL my shizz, or consider a month good enough & move on. I haven’t repeated any outfits – I just own a metric shit ton of clothes – and I really miss some of the stuff I wore at the beginning of the month.

With that being said, I am going on vacation starting tomorrow at the buttcrack of dawn. SO EXCITED. We’re going to the beeeeach! And I bought a cute bathing suit! (For the 3 of you who are worried about my cat being left alone – don’t worry, I got a housesitter :) Wow that sounds so grown-up haha). I’ll still be documenting MMM’12 in the Flickr group – hopefully all with pictures ~on the beach~ haha – but the blog will probably be nice & silent for the next few days.

Have a great weekend – holiday or not :)

Me Made May – Week 2 Roundup

11 May

I know what you’re thinking – two posts in one day? Is the world really in the process of ending? Is Jesus coming back (no, actually, that was supposed to happen last May, except we all know SOMEONE didn’t bother to show up to his own damn party)? At any rate, I hope y’all love meee because you’re going to have to look at my mug twice today, teehee.

I left off last Friday, so we’ll pick this up starting Saturday!

5-5
5/5
Dress: BOMBSHELL
Shoes: Steve Madden
Excuse my disgusting sewing room floor, I hate vacuuming!
Ooh, but see my iPhone!? Landon bought me an early birthday present! He is the best :) I’m on Instagram now if you want to follow me :)

5-6
5/6
Dress: Simplicity 4170
Cowboy Boots: courtesy of my mom’s closet :)
Necklace: Fire Finch, here in Nashville
This is actually the very first dress I made with a pattern – so it’s super pre-blog (I think I made this in 2006). Don’t get too terribly excited about how good it looks, though – the original bodice was total shit – I didn’t line it, didn’t gather under the bust (lolwut), inserted the zipper rather terribly by hand, etc. The bodice you see now is what happened after I learned some skills 6 months later, ripped it off, and re-made. It’s still kind of amateur looking, but that’s ok!

5-7
5/7
Dress: Vogue 1086
Cardigan: Thrifted, reconstructed by me
Belt: Handmade
Necklace: Thrifted bracelet, reconstructed into a necklace by me
Shoes: Target

5-8
5/8
Top: Jalie 2921
Skirt: Express
Sweater: Free People, sized down quite a bit by me (it’s supposed to be loose-fitting)
Shoes: Steve Madden

5-9
5/9
Top: Simplicity 4400
Skirt: Thrifted, sized down & repaired (the shirring at the waistband was completely busted so I sewed in new elastic… does this count as Me-Made?)
Belt: Thrifted
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Earrings: Thrifted
The light was really bad that morning, so here you get to see the side & crawl space of my ugly house!

5-10
5/10
Top: Sewaholic Renfrew
Skirt: Colette Ginger
Cardigan: Thrifted
Belt: Thrifted
Feather Earrings: Tennessee Renaissance Festival
Shoes: Giani Bernini

5-11
5/11 (today!)
Top: Jalie 2921
Trousers: Vogue 2925
Shoes: Walmart (lol yep)
Scarf: Flea market

If you don’t recognize my top, that’s because it’s very new & very un-blogged! This top was actually the whole reason why I bought the Jalie pattern – I thought it looked quite similar to Colette’s Jasmine pattern, except in a nice knit instead of bias-cut woven. I’m not going to make a separate post for this top, just because I would basically be repeating my last one, but I will go over the minor pattern changes I made:
– I shortened the neck ties quite drastically. I can’t give you a real measurement – I just put on the pink top, pinned the ties until I liked the length, and copied that to my pattern piece.
– Instead of arranging the ties as suggested by the pattern (through a hole in the front seam, tied, or fastened with a buckle), I wrapped a small piece of matching bias tape around them & sewed it into place by hand.
– Took in a little bit at the side seams to make it more fitted.
– Shortened the sleeves to cap sleeves.
– Top-stitched the hem & sleeve hems with a double needle in matching blue thread.

I am rather pleased with the result! Although, it is quite sailor-y so I definitely run the risk of looking really costume-y… I think I kind of look costume-y in this outfit, actually, but IDGAF.

Oh, I should probably talk about that ADORABLE dog standing behind me… that’s Turtle :) She is the dog of my bestie/life partner, Morgan (the one who moved to Macedonia!). Her mother is keeping Turtle while Morgan is fulfilling her time at the Peace Corps. Anyway, she’s actually out of town visiting Morgan, & the originaly dogsitter had some medical problems so I’m taking care of the dogs for her until then! I just love Turtle, she’s such a little sweetie (and Percy, the other dog, was lounging on the steps directly behind my camera FYI :) I’ll try to get a picture of her at some point). This also explains why I’m suddenly standing in an area with an amazing garden backdrop – it’s her house! And look – you can see my little truck in the background :)

Me & Turtle :)
Man, I love this dog. She’s such a ham.

New Vogue Sewing Patterns: Uglier Than Ever

26 Apr

I consider Vogue pattern releases something of a holiday. In the past, it was a day filled with awe & delight, mental math & frantic list-making. In the present, it’s a day filled with lols and eyebrow raises. I can’t decide which one I like better, personally.

I’ll start with the patterns I actually like – yes, there are a few!

V1302
Vogue 1302
This looks pretty straightforward on the front, it’s the back that makes me swoon.

V1302a
Bias-cut runching? SWOON.

V1302b
Here’s the line drawing if you are having trouble tearing your eyes away from that lovely fabric.

V1303
Vogue 1303
Also loving this one, although it’s a little hard to see in the detail in that busy print.

V1303a

V8807
Vogue 8807
Actually, I can’t tell if I like this pattern or if I’m just freaking out over the fabric. I think it’s just the fabric.

V8812
Vintage Vogue 8812
PERFECT little sunndress!

V8812a
And the back! THE BACK.

V8814
Vogue 8814
All that bias & floaty makes this look like it would be really interesting to sew, and really fun to wear.
Note: There actually is a non-line drawing of this dress (aka with a live model) but the view they chose is totally hiddy so we’re just gonna stick with the line drawing.

V8804
Vogue 8804
I think it’s really awesome that Vogue has a classic Chanel jacket pattern *and* it’s a Claire Shaeffer pattern so it includes all the couture instructions that really(er, literally) make the jacket. I know this style of jacket isn’t for everyone – I personally wouldn’t wear it – but if I had the money to throw down, I would absolutely make one just for the experience.
Although, that styling is pretty lol.

… And that’ll do it for the pretty today.

Let’s get shit-talking!

V1301a
Vogue 1301
This starts out kind of ok. A little overload with the patterns there, but there’s something sweet & hippie-esque about it that doesn’t bother me too much.

V1301
Until she puts on the matching… well, I think that’s a coat, anyway.

V1301b
lolwut.

V1304
Vogue 1304
I know some people will disagree with me on this one (and I’m prepared to argue with you – I LOVE BICKERING), but this dress looks seriously uncomfortable and not at all flattering. There are way too many design elements going on here and the pleated bubble hem at the bottom looks like an afterthought.

V1304a
Look at how she’s standing just to keep the back up. I’m really curious to see what a hot mess this translates to in the real world, to be honest.

V1305
Vogue 1305
It looks pretty dramatic/stunning in the pictures, until you realize what a silly dress this actually is. There is WAY too much going on here, with the assymetrical everything & all that runching. There’s also a giant slit in the back that goes all the way down to the model’s buttcrack. No, I’m not posting a picture. I don’t want that trash in my Flickr, thnx.

V1306
Vogue 1306
No, this one isn’t terrible – although I think twisted (and braided, for that matter) straps look really Becky Homecky – I just think the picture is hilarious. Classic Derp face.

V8806
Vogue 8806
Wow, those are ugly shoes.

V8809
Vogue 8809
That hem looks like she ran out of fabric to get a proper length, but tried to overcompensate when it came to butt coverage.

V8818
Vogue 8818
This is actually kind of pretty, but I’m including it anyway because it’s basically a gathered elastic waistband (or drawstring) skirt. I think it should be noted that Vogue patterns run on the expensive incline (and this one in particular is $22.50), so it baffles me that someone would buy a $20+ pattern for something they would essentially make as their very first sewing project in Home Ec.

V8821
Vogue 8821
Vogue is really loving the mullet-hems this season.

V8817
Vogue 8817
ANOTHER MULLET-HEM

V8813
Vogue 8813
Tragedy.

V1297
Vogue 1297
Here is a good example of nice fabric hiding a pattern fail.

V1297a
It would appear that the pockets are actually extensions of the skirt that are pulled up with a drawstring. Just… why?

Oh, and let’s not forget the ugly purse patterns:
V1311
Vogue 1311
Koos van den Akker, you can’t fool me. Weird pattern clashing on a purse IS STILL UGLY.

V8823
V8823a
Vogue 8823
On the plus side, if you carried this purse, there would be absolutely no question as to whether or not you made it.

But wait! I saved the best for last.
V1307
V1307a
Vogue 1307
Oh boy. When this picture came up, I swear I thought Santa had sent me an early Christmas present. The shiny neon green animal print! The pleats! It’s like Hammer Pants for dummies!
I’m sorry, but the safest pair of Hammer Pants is no Hammer Pants at all.
Congratulations, Vogue 1307. You are officially the ugliest pattern in the bunch.

Want more Vouge Shit Talk? Check out Part 1 and Part 2

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