Soooooo Vogue just released their fall/winter sewing patterns. (Un?)Forunately, they aren’t too bad this time around. Not a lot of snark here; these are actually pretty boring & blah and ughh I almost didn’t bother posting because I was just so fucking underwhelmed. Seriously – even Koos van den Akker appears to have left the crazy at home this time. But, I dunno, it’s a slow day & the requests have started trickling in so I’ll just consider this my Treat to y’all. No tricks, please!
One thing that stuck out to me this go-round was the sheer amount of unnecessarily frivolous patterns.
Such as… oh, I don’t know, this
flamingo flamenco skirt?
Or this vintage repro – while beautiful, I just don’t see a modern woman waltzing around the office with a giant slab of fabric hanging off her waist like a forgotten napkin. Or am I just being a bitter old hag here? Maybe it’s the cheap shiny satin, but this pattern is getting the serious side-eye from me right now.
A flowy ruffled blouse with a matching flowy ruffled caplet in the same eye-bleedingly busy print? SIGN ME UP.
Or perhaps you fancy a dress with a built-in cape? It is Halloween, after all.
Buzz Lightyear, to the rescue!
I know everyone is freaking out over the fascinators, and I’m not going to rain on your parade for fear y’all are gonna eat me alive.
All I am gonna say is, it looks like the black-eyed children have finally found a way to be invited into your home (spooky link alert, FYI!)
Nothing earth-shattering here, only the most unflattering outfit I think I’ve ever seen.
REAL TALK: This straight-up looks like a vagina.
Wonderful pocket place y’all got there!
They finally did away with the randumb giant leaves this time, and instead settled on using decapitated arms.
“BLIIIINDED BY THE LIGHT- WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE, ANOTHER BONER IN THE NIGHT~”