ooh you guys, vogue just released their winter sewing patterns! in fact, it’s been almost exactly a year since i last shit all over them. happy anniversary to me! let’s celebrate with a snarky shit-talking post, shall we?
i’ll start off with the 3 that i like.
vogue 1271, kay unger
gorgeous dress, although the fabric choice is pretty tragic. can you imagine this in a lush black with a jewel-toned belt? i die.
vogue 1265, pamella roland
i hated this one the first time i saw it – i thought it was some kind of awkward dressy romper/suit hybrid. EW. actually, it’s just a dress – that is a slit in the front, although i have no idea why they put it there since it obviously doesn’t need it once you see the back:
again: i die. twice.
ok, this one isn’t really that special, i think i just like the lacy lace. pretty sure i have a dozen patterns exactly like this, but with different cover art. still – me likey!
vogue 1273, badgley mischka
i like this ok – it has some neat detailing – but, again, tragic fabric choice. what’s with all the shiny polyester satin, vogue?
vogue 1267, tom & linda platt
i like the detail seaming, but for the most part, this dress is pretty meh.
vogue 1272, bellville sassoon
i know we are still in the middle of an 80s revival, but this is just uncalled for.
vogue 1269, chado ralph rucci
i want to like this, i really do, but the flounce overload is giving me hives.
vogue 8768, vintage vogue
actually, this one isn’t so bad aside from the WTF STYLING. this mess doesn’t fit the model AT ALL, especially that unflattering hemline. she looks horribly awkward & uncomfortable. i don’t blame her.
well, that’s practical.
what is this i don’t even.
vogue 1279, pamella roland
not a bad suit by any means, but why did they decide to make it up in 3D hologram fabric? excuse me wtf r u doin.
actually, this one just made me laugh for about 5 minutes straight. thanks for the mood-lifter, vogue!
vogue 8783, marcy tilton
i love that this purse is ~designer~, if by designer you mean totes appropes for hauling around in the minivan on the way to the soccer fields. i’m side-eyeing that woman’s hair so hard right now, willing it to morph into this. and oh, look, she’s wearing 8780! in green fleece!
this is actually a sleeveless vest, thoughtfully covered in hairballs.
vogue 1268, guy laroche
looks like a cheap pocahontas halloween costume.
vogue 1277, koos van den akker
you can defend koos van den akker all you want, but every single one of his designs is ugly as shit, as far as i’m concerned.